


I Really Like You

by AzureRoseStorm



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blow Jobs, Family Fluff, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-01-20 18:04:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18530311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzureRoseStorm/pseuds/AzureRoseStorm
Summary: Based on the song I really like you by Carly Rae Jepsen. A Cononish story on Sam and Deans relationship. A little angsty in the beginning but I plan to make it all warm and fluffy by the end.





	1. I Really Like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this Fic. I had fun writing this first chapter. I listened to the song and read the lyrics so many times. I could probably recite it in my dreams.

“Dean, I need to tell you something.” Sam said just above a whisper.

“Yeah? What’s that Sammy?” Dean turned away from the kitchen sink where he was washing his hands to face his brother.

They had been left behind while John went out to hunt a vampire. That had killed three people already and John had decided to take the case alone. Leaving Sam and Dean at yet another run-down motel. Sam had decided this was the best time to tell Dean about his feelings. Being both shy and unable to properly put it into words Sam chose to use the phrase. “I really really like you Dean. Like really really like you.”

Dean laughed, “Okay Sammy, I really really like you to. Now, what is this about baby brother?”

Sam sighed in frustration. His brother obviously wasn’t getting the point. Sam understood he loved his brother like a brother, but he liked him to in a much more sexual way. That was somehow separate from the brotherly love he felt for Dean. Being fourteen he understood that it was wrong to want his brother like that. He also believed at this point in his life if he was ever going to deal with these feelings. It was best to do it now before it got any worse. To let Dean know so they could deal with it together. Like Dean always said if he needed anything at all. All he had to do was ask. Sam also understood that had nothing to do with sexual favors but perhaps dealing with misplaced emotions counted as something he could ask for help with.

            Not like there was anyone else to talk to about it. He especially wasn’t going to tell his dad jack shit about it. John cared he really did, but he wasn’t any good at dealing with emotional baggage including his own. This particular bit of emotional baggage might just send him over the edge. Sam had a feeling at one-point John could have been a great father or at least a good one. The type to properly sit down and take care of problems rationally. But now, now he was a fire cracker going off at the slightest thing and the only person Sam could trust is Dean. Which left Sam with the dilemma of how to properly explain it to his brother. Whom apparently didn’t understand the subtle nuances of really really liking someone. Sam tried again.

“I really really really really really like you Dean.” the words came out as whiney in his frustration, and Dean continued to chuckle. Still not properly understanding his little brothers’ problem or refusing to. Sam wasn’t sure. Which only irritated him more. After a moment Deans laughter subsided. “maybe you should try a different word Sammy?” Sam sighed shoulders drooping as he gave Dean the puppy eyes of defeat causing Dean to sigh.

“come on Sammy don’t do that to me” Dean pleaded as he turned his head to the side but kept flickering his gaze back to Sam.

 The next second Sam had crossed the distance between them grabbing ahold of Dean’s shirt and yanking him down to his level. The moment Dean turned his head to face Sam properly and ask him what was up. Sam smashed their lips together in a forceful kiss. That spoke volumes of his inexperience and his frustration with Dean. A light bulb went off in Deans mind and he finally clued in on what his baby brother was trying to tell him. His baby brother desired him. A series of emotions rocketed through Dean. First was surprise, then concern, followed by worry, and fear. Settling on a mixture of excited nervousness. It took a split second for the kiss to end, but it felt like an eternity for Dean.

“do you get it now… jerk” Sam growled lowly letting go of Dean’s shirt and stepping over to plop on the bed in distress. His face tucked and turned from Dean’s view.

A breathy “yeah” was all Dean could manage.

            He was at a loss. He didn’t know how to deal with this. It wasn’t something that was ever supposed to happen, and his brain was short circuiting in its attempt to find an answer. Any answer on how to deal with this without hurting his Sammy. His baby brother, the most important person in the whole world to him.

“Sammy….” Dean paused unsure how to continue. Afraid to push his brother further away. He wanted to say the right thing. But, how do you do that when the right thing will hurt you both more than the wrong thing ever could.

“yeah, Dean?” came the quiet reply.

“you know it’s… wrong… Right?” Dean shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot rubbing the back of his neck.

“yeah” a slight nod.

“to love me in a…” he coughed working the words forward in his throat “sexual way”

“it’s not love Dean” Sam burst out head snapping up and over to face Dean “I mean I do love you but….” His eyes darted away searching for the right words.

“but what Sammy?” Confusion coated his words. The implication of Sam’s words tightening his chest.

“this is different, it’s like… a-a need that’s all… physical…” Sam trailed off still not looking at Dean afraid of what he’d see in his brothers’ olive green eyes, and of what he wouldn’t see.

“oh…” Dean breathed out his body relaxing some. Though he still couldn’t quite comprehend what his brother had really meant by what he said. Was Sam in denial or was it something else? In truth neither of them properly understood. They were too young and inexperienced to see what this was the start of. What problems this would cause. The things they both would do to get away from it, time and time again. How this not “love” but “lust” would twist itself into something neither of them would ever be able to recognize.

A part of Dean was angry for getting his hopes up for jumping to conclusions. Most of him was relieved lust and desire are easier to deal with harder to get hurt from so long as they aren’t confused for love. Well a specific type of love. There is a thin line between the two. One of those horribly blurry lines Dean was sure he was perpetually on the wrong side of.

“What should I do Dean?” the question came out of Sam like a plea for mercy. Dean had no idea how to give him that mercy. How to say the right thing to make it all better, so he didn’t say anything. He just walked over and sat down next to his Sammy and pulled him into his arms. Sam broke down in tears fisting his hands in the back of Dean’s shirt. His face buried against Dean’s chest.

“Please… don’t hate me.” Sam pleaded through his sobs.

“I will always love you Sammy. Nothing could ever take that away from you.” Dean spoke with a measured calm meant to sooth and imbibe confidence as he tightened his hold on Sam.

 He feared what the knowledge of those feelings was doing to him. He didn’t like how flattered he felt at the thought of his own brother lusting after him. How it caused a new kind of warmth in him. That scared the wholly shit out of him. He wanted to say more but he knew it was best if he didn’t. Sam understood that dad couldn’t know. Knew it was something only they could know. Why else would he have waited till they were alone?

Sam was glad his brother didn’t walk away, didn’t push him away, or treat him like a germ. Was glad Dean was holding him and telling him he’d always love him. This kept a little spark of hope alive in Sam a spark that would one day turn into a raging fire that would consume them both.

“Dean?” Sam said leaning back slightly to look up at his brother. “you’ll never leave me, right?”

“Never I'll always be right by your side no matter what. Please, believe that.” There was desperation in his tone but also an assured confidence that left no room for doubt. He whipped away Sam’s tears with the pads of his thumbs as they lapsed into a comfortable silence. Dean still holding Sam firmly to his chest. Until the sound of the Impala parking outside pulled them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do look forward to the next chapter I plan to slowly work through the verses. The verses used in this chapter are: I know this isn't love But I need to tell you something, I really really really really really really like you. Some verses are implied others not.


	2. I Want You. Do You Want Me To?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a few rewrites. I hope you enjoy it.

The feel of Sam’s lips against his own was intoxicating. The velvet of his baby brothers’ lips kneading his own into action. Sipping gently at his bottom lip as if he could drink him in. Seeming to push and pull him along the waves Sam created with his body against Deans. Had the older Winchesters head spinning. He didn’t know how they'd gotten to be in this position with Sam grinding into him and kissing him like it was the last chance he'd ever get. The old black and white Western movie long forgotten in the background of their making out and dry humping on the ratty old couch in front of the small 14-inch TV that filled yet another motel room with the sounds of whooping and hollering along with the click of hooves and gunshots. Dean couldn’t help but think it was a bit too soon Sam is only 16 after all but he didn’t want to stop he wanted more, and he was pretty sure Sam did to. He rubbed his hands up and down Sam’s thighs afraid to touch any other part of his brother not wanting to lose control even as he rolled his own hips up into his brothers keeping pace with each other. He could feel Sam’s frustration with him in the way his hips would jerk forward in sudden need and in the hands that carded fingers through his dark brown hair gripping tight to the strands pulling Dean’s head back as Sam followed claiming his lips again and again each one a plea for more a demand to be satisfied. Sam growled and moved Dean’s hands to his chest pushing them under his shirt. Lips hovering over his older brothers.

“Please Dean, touch me” Sam begged breath ghosting across Dean’s slightly parted lips.

“I am touching you” Dean teased earning a derisive snort from his little brother.

“Okay okay” Dean chuckled and obeyed the request more properly letting his hands caress Sam’s chest rubbing the hardened nubs with his thumbs before sliding down to caress the planes if the younger Winchester’s stomach. He moved to Sam’s hips gripping and rolling before tugging off Sam’s shirt hands returning to Sam’s hips. Taking in the seductive sight of his baby brothers toned yet still youthfully soft upper body as they continued to roll together. Sam leaned in kissing Dean as his own hands pushed up Dean’s shirt but not quite willing to remove it. Fingers massaging into Deans flesh. The older Winchester sighed pushing Sam back to remove his own shirt and was rewarded with his baby brothers’ lips caressing his clavicle tongue slipping out and snaking a path with intermittent kisses up to his shoulder where he nipped and sucked a deep red bruise into the lightly freckled skin.

Two years of waiting had brought them to this point. Two years of heated glances, hugging for just a little bit longer than was necessary as they breathed each other in, and on the occasions when one got hurt spending just a little more time tending to their wounds. Two years of entwining just their fingertips when they stood or sat close enough just to touch each other. Now here they are making out like horny teenagers on their parents couch in the half dark of an early setting sun. Only it was a motel couch and there was no sneaking around John was on a hunt and wouldn’t be back for days and always called before he showed up.

Sam’s hand had reached down gently kneading Dean’s bulging cock through his jeans pulling him from his thoughts. A tingle of excitement shot down to Sam’s cock at Deans low groan. His fingers fumbled with the button on Deans jeans for a moment before popping it free scissoring the zipper open with his fingers letting them press against his brothers cock on the way down. Dean’s breath hitched in his throat at the new contact so close to bare skin with only the thin fabric of his crimson red boxers between them.

“Sammy” Dean breathed out and Sam looked down at him a mischievous smile turning up the corners of his kiss swollen blush reddened lips as he began to message designs along the clothed bulge of Dean’s cock. Cupping Dean’s chin with his other hand as he leaned in pressing their lips together once again. His tongue darted out licking along the seam of Dean’s lips and he opened to him his own tongue greeting Sam’s as the kiss deepened. Sam’s hand squeezed his cock gently kneading it before slipping beneath his brothers’ boxers. Dean gasped at the warmth of Sam’s hands on his bare member and Sam took the opportunity to move down to Dean’s throat as his head pulled back exposing it. Dean’s own hands slid to the front of Sam’s jeans then rubbing the straining bulge before setting it free Sam wasn’t wearing underwear and Dean’s chest tightened in excitement as he grasped Sam’s bare cock causing him to buck up into deans loose gripped fist.

“Dean” he moaned against his brothers throat his tongue licking a trail up to Dean’s earlobe which he nipped and sucked between his lips as his tongue trailed along its edge. 

“do you want me Dean?” Sam asked breathlessly against Dean’s ear “cause I want you. I want all of you”

Dean gulped hard a slight panic rising in his chest. Sam worried if he’d said too much as his brothers’ body stiffened beneath him the hand working his throbbing cock stilled the thumb rubbing mindlessly against the head causing the younger Winchester to whimper.

“God, yes I want you. I want you so bad Sammy, but don’t, don’t make this into something it’s not” Dean panted in response after a moment. This stilled all movement.

“What is this to you Dean?” Sam raised himself to look Dean in the eyes. Hazel searching Olive-green.

“Release Sam, it can only be release” There was a plea in his tone and in his lust darkened eyes as he looked up at his baby brother begging Sam to let it be just that to not demand more from him.

“Release” Sam nodded leaning back. the slight hurt visible in his hazel eyes the golden ring made small by his lust blown pupils the blue almost turned black. The look turned hard, determined.

“All those girls you fuck Dean. They are release” Sam smirked “we both know this is more than that” he leaned down then placing soft quick kisses to Dean’s jaw chin and lips “but I'll let you have that delusion” a deep heavy kiss “I’ll take what you're offering” Sam chuckled low giving a little twist to the stroking motion he was now doing to Dean’s cock letting go at the end eliciting a hiss from Dean before leaning in so he could kiss along his collar bone letting his hands roam the expanse of Dean’s chest and stomach thumbs coming along to rub gently at Dean’s nipples with every pass. He distracted Dean so thoroughly that any retort he might have made was lost in a wave of pleasure. Dean released Sam’s cock sliding his hands along Sam’s hips and down the back of his jeans gripping the soft globes of his ass in his hands kneading them rubbing his hands in circles fingers dipping into the crack sliding and spreading before coming back around repeating the circular motion again and again. Sam groaned pulling Dean’s head to his chest cradling him there as he bucked forwards causing their cocks to brush haphazardly against each other. Dean groaned against Sam’s warm velvet skin the ache in his balls growing with every thrust that brought their too sensitive members together.

“please” Sam breathed out and Dean removed one of his hands from Sam’s ass to press their twitching members together working them both in time with Sam’s thrusts. moans erupted from them both the moment they touched.

 “Don’t stop” Sam moaned against Dean’s scalp his face buried in the older Winchester’s hair.

Dean laughed breathlessly knowing there was no way he was going to stop not until they both reached release. Dean removed his other hand from Sam’s ass sliding his fingers into Sam’s short but shaggy brown hair pulling his head back lifting his head up to kiss and suck at the flesh there.

“Fuck” Sam moaned rolling his hips slowly into Dean’s fist.

They were approaching their climaxes quickly both rolling their hips erratically into one another their need for release driving them both over the edge cum spurting forth dripping down to coat Dean’s hand slickening its seemingly perpetual motion milking them both for all they were worth. Sam collapsed against Dean face buried in his shoulder both panting as they rode out their orgasms. They stayed that way for a time until Sam rolled off of Dean collapsing into the couch next to him with a contented sigh. Dean chuckled patting Sam’s thigh as he stood to retrieve a warm damp wash cloth and wash his hands. He tossed the cloth to Sam to get cleaned up with and tucked himself away before pulling his shirt back on. Sam cleaned up and got properly dressed again a satisfied drowsiness in his form as he slumped back into the couch.

Dean didn’t feel comfortable sticking around. The weight of the realization of what they had just done crashing down hard on him. He grabbed his coat and the keys to the Impala and left. Sam called after him, but he didn’t stop he needed to clear his head, needed to be on the road feeling the rumble of the engine the rise and fall of the road just for a bit. He wasn’t angry or even upset. He was just having one of those moments where it felt like he'd made a shitty decision on how to deal with Sammy. He was sure he'd hurt Sam in his attempt to do the exact opposite. Why couldn’t he keep his fucking mouth shut?

When he returned to the motel Sam was still sitting on the couch only now, he was curled up reading a book as he leaned back against the arm of the couch.

“You okay Dean?” Sam asked warily looking up from his book.

“yeah, all good” the older Winchester replied managing a half smile.

Sam returned the smile just as halfheartedly hazel eyes boring into Dean as if they could find the answers Dean wasn’t saying to the questions Sam wasn’t asking. Dean decided that needed to stop and after removing his coat shoved Sam’s long legs off the couch and plopped down next to him.

“So, what Cha reading Sammy” he asked over cheerily.

Sam blinked startled “Lord of the rings” he lifted the book to show Dean the cover. Dean nodded not really caring about the book but satisfied that he had properly distracted Sam. He slung his arm around his Sammy’s shoulders and turned his attention to the TV as Sam settled into his side thinking it was okay if Dean wanted to press the reset button, he'd let him pretend nothing happened if it kept him right here next to him and returned to his book. They were going to be okay just like this Dean thought a true smile curving up his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The verses used in this chapter are: Late night watching television But how'd we get in this position It's way too soon, And I want you, do you want me, do you want me too? Oh did I say too much? Sipping on your lips.


	4. Hanging On By a Thread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a lot of lines the pilot episode in the beginning. It is my fastest chapter so far and longest. I believe.

Dean Pulled up outside of the apartment Sam lived in while going to Stanford. His heart racing a mile a minute. He cut the engine and sat back against the seat. Taking a deep breath before stepping out. It'd been almost two years since they last talked a little over three since Sam had left for college. Dad was gone and he needed Sammy to help him find him. Why? Because Dean didn’t want to be alone. So, he was dragging Sam back in kicking and screaming if he had to. Standing in front of the window to Sam’s apartment Dean felt like he could die the excitement and the fear of seeing Sam again had him all nerves. He took a deep breath and slid the window open chastising Sam mentally for not locking it and climbed through making some noise as he entered. He straitened up and looked around the apartment first not immediately heading to the bedroom where he assumed Sam would be but instead searching the other rooms first. As he entered the room before the living room Sam attacked. They tussled a bit.

“Whoa easy tiger” Dean teased smiling down at Sam as he pinned him down with one hand on his throat.

“Dean?” Sam exclaimed surprised. “You scared the crap out me”

“that’s cause your outta practice” Dean said with a cocky grin and a chuckle. Sam grabbed Dean’s wrist and twisted his body knocking Dean off balance and onto the floor pinning him down with one long legs across his chest “or not” Dean patted Sam’s leg grinning “get off a me”

Sam jumped up holding a hand out to help Dean up along with him “what are you doing here?”

“Ah just looking for a beer” Dean joked with a laugh.

“Sam?” Jessica called flipping on the light.

Dean and Sam both turned to look at her. “Jess hey” Sam looked at Dean “Dean this is my girlfriend Jessica”

Dean felt like he’d been punched in the chest.

“Wait your brother Dean?” Jessica said surprised leaning against the door frame.

“I love the Smurfs” Dean commented sliding into automatic flirt mode when faced with something he couldn’t quite deal with. “you know I gotta tell you. You are completely out of my brothers league.” He said moving towards Jess.

“Just let me put something on” Jess replied feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“no, no I wouldn’t dream of it” Dean said shaking his head cocky grin in place “seriously”

“anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here talk about some family business but ah nice meeting you” Dean said walking back over to Sam smirking. Jessica gave a tight smile.

“no, no whatever you want to say you can say it in front of her” Sam said walking over and putting his arm around Jess. Trying his best to deter his older brother from saying what he feared he would.

“Okay um dad hasn’t been home in a few days” Dean said not going to be deterred this was too important.

“So, he's working overtime on a Miller time shift he'll stumble back in sooner or later” Sam said trying to sound like he didn’t care. ‘don’t you dare Dean' Sam thought panic rising.

“Dads on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days” Dean said determined 'it has to happen Sammy' he finished as a thought.

“Jess excuse us” Sam said giving in.

They left the apartment heading down the stairs. Sam following behind Dean.

“I mean come on you can’t just break in in the middle of the night and expect me to just hit the road with you” Sam said annoyed ‘I left that life behind remember?’ he thought.

“You’re not hearing me Sammy dad’s missing. I need you to help me find him” Dean pleased ‘I don’t want to do this alone. I need you' he thought.

“Remember the poltergeist in aimers or the devil’s gate in Clifton he was missing then to he’s always missing and he’s always fine” Sam said exasperated.

“Not for this long. Now you gonna come with me or not?” Dean asked. ‘come on Sammy' He pleaded in his head.

“I’m not” Sam said firmly finality in his voice.

“What? Why not?” surprised Dean stopped at the bottom of the stairs looking up at Sam.

“I swore I was done hunting for good” Sam groused.

“Come on it wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t that bad” Dean tried placating Sam.

They got to the front door. Stopping to look at each other.

“Yeah, when I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet he gave me a .45”

“What was he supposed to do?”

“I don’t know. I was nine years old he was supposed to say don’t be afraid of the dark”

“Don’t be afraid of the dark? What are you kidding me? Of course, you should be afraid of the dark. You know what’s out there.”

“Yeah I know but still the way we grew up after mom was killed and dad’s obsession to find the thing that killed her, and we still haven’t found the damn thing so we kill everything we can find”

“save a lot of people doing it to”

“You think mom would have wanted this for us?”

They exited heading up the stairs to where Dean had parked the Impala.

“The weapon training? And melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean we were raised like warriors.”

“So, what are you gonna do? Just gonna live some normal apple pie life? Is this it?”

“No, not normal safe”

“And that’s why you ran away?” Dean said voicing the one thing that hurt the most.

“I was just going to college. It was dad who said that if I was going to go. I should stay gone. That’s what I'm doing” there was anger in his voice. ‘but I didn’t want to leave you' Sam thought to himself.

“yeah we’ll dad’s in a bit of trouble right now if he’s not dead I can feel it” Dean placated “I can’t do this alone”

“Yes, you can” Sam was exasperated. Why couldn’t Dean just let him go.

“Yeah well I don’t want to” Dean said firmly.

Sam let out a sigh “What was he hunting?”

He was glad he didn’t have to, and that Sam came all but willingly. And though it was a bit awkward it was the happiest Dean had been in years. Side by side flying down the road with his Sammy hunting monsters. Hunting a Lady in White. It made him feel complete like he hadn’t in the years since Sam had left. He had wondered over the years of their separation what Sam was up to at college. He'd wondered if Sam had grown wise and decided a girlfriend was better than having your big mothering brother as a lover. Had gone over a thousand scenarios and not one of them had prepared him for this. Dean was quite sure he was hanging by a thread waiting to see if Sam would drop him or save him. He didn’t like the thought of Sam going back after this was over. Back to his damned girlfriend. Didn’t like the fact he'd run off and got a damned girlfriend. Going off to college was one thing but replacing him with some chick now that that hurt. He wondered if Sam still felt the same as when they were younger.

Their first night in a motel together after Jess had died was anything but expected. Sam was in morning that much was obvious. Dean just didn’t think it would lead to this. To Sam using him to forget.

Sam sucked fervently at the junction of Dean’s neck and shoulder laving his tongue across the bruise he'd created there.

“what’s up with you man?” Dean questioned fingers combing through the hair at the nap of Sam’s neck.

Sam looked up smiling but it didn’t reach his eyes and fell away too quickly. “Nothing” Sam scoffed claiming Deans lips with his own. Dean responded in kind allowing Sam to distract him for the moment. When Sam parted his lips against Dean’s. Dean took the invitation parting his own to slip his tongue into his brothers mouth meeting with Sam’s tongue pressing together and slipping away and returning again and again as they kissed. They separated for a moment panting. “What about Jessica Sammy?” Sam tensed for a moment before relaxing “Not now Dean” he sat back on Dean’s knees his hands slipping from their position on his brothers shoulders to his chest. They were shirtless with only their jeans on. Dean lying on the bed with Sam on his lap. “you really wanna do this?”

 “yes, let me have this Dean.” Sam said cupping his big brothers face in his hands. “I’ve missed you”

Dean nodded “I missed you to Sammy”. He had to agree specially with his own growing need for Sam barely being contained. The separation was hell on him.

“Okay little brother” he said pulling Sam down to kiss him. Their lips melding together and then parting. “let’s make up for it then” Sam smiled at that this time for real bringing a light to his pale blue eyes the center looking almost truly gold. Dean liked to catalog the color changes of Sam’s eyes sometimes he speculated on why they changed he had theories like mood or age maybe it was what he ate. Dean didn’t know but he loved them all the same. Especially when they lit up like they were right now. The joy he never wanted to see that joy fade never wanted that light to burn out he'd do anything to keep it burning bright. His thoughts traveled as Sam moved releasing Dean’s face and sliding back till, he was at eye level with his big brothers’ crotch he smiled kneading at his brothers hardened cock eliciting a hiss from Dean’s parted lips. Popping the button free and sliding the zipper down he reached in pleased to find no further barriers blocking him from Dean’s cock. He kneaded it free of its confinement.

“Sammy” Dean moaned his fingers once again returning to comb through his little brothers’ hair.

Sam stroked Dean into a firm stiffness. He licked at the pre pearling on the tip with quick flicks of his tongue. Meant to tease. Dean jerked with every flick strained moans leaking from him. his fingers flexing in Sam’s hair and gripping the sheets in his empty fist. Sam let out a pleased hum he liked it when Dean allowed himself to let go when they were like this. However, this was the first time he’d ever got down and licked at his brothers’ cock. he'd wanted to do it for years and only just worked up the courage. Grief will do that to you.

He swirled his tongue around the tip of Dean’s cock curling the tip of his tongue just beneath the crown and flicked up wards holding Dean’s hungry olive-green stare unblinkingly. Dean gasped his eyes widening as he tried to keep them open. Sam smirked excitement tightening his chest sending pleasant tingles down to his balls making his cock twitch. He had to hold himself back from rushing things. He knew he didn’t have to, but he wanted to.

Keeping their gazes locked Sam opened his mouth pressing the head of Deans cock against the flat if his tongue. He slowly began to slide his big brothers cock into his mouth. Wanting to show him in excruciating slowness, the first time he had his dick sucked by his little brother. He closed his lips just an inch or so down the head swirling his tongue around the head as he sucked. He didn’t focus on the flavor but on the labored breaths turning to moans and, on those olive-green eyes that seemed to say “You’re doing so fucking good Sammy keep going”

He could feel the strain in Dean’s hips beneath him trying hard not to thrust up into his mouth. Sam worked his hand along the shaft where his mouth didn’t touch. The other hand rested on Dean’s left hip adding a little pressure to help keep him steady. Sam began slowly bobbing his head taking a little more in each time. Finding his limit quicker than he liked and letting out a disgruntled sound. Dean laughed breathlessly “s’okay Sammy we’ll get there” Sam narrowed his eyes Dean wasn’t supposed to be amused by this. Sam popped off licking his lips of salty pre and saliva.

Dean groaned his eyes closing “fuck that’s hot Sammy” Sam perked up. It wasn’t a lost cause Dean was still turned on he just had to continue. Sam shifted and moved Dean’s dick out of the way so that he could mouth at his big brothers’ supple balls. Tugging the skin gently with his teeth before taking one into his mouth and sucking. “fuck” Dean groaned, and Sam swapped to the other one repeating his ministrations. Deans jeans were in the way a bit, so Sam simply shifted them a bit and continued his actions sucking his balls and stroking his cock till Dean was an incoherent mess. Cock weeping all over Sam’s moving hand and balls tightening. Sam moved back to sucking Dean off. This time allowing Dean to thrust up into his mouth a little. Sam wished he could have drawn this out more, but the satisfaction of feeling his big brothers cock twitch between his lips as hot spurts of cum hit his tongue. Was too good for him to care all that much at the moment. The flexing fingers in his hair. The whispered “Sammy.” It was perfect. When Dean was done, Sam pulled off sucking the last bit of sweet saltiness with him swallowing. But it was Deans and he swallowed it because of the way it made Dean look at him.

“Come 'ere” Dean beckoned with his hand. Sam nodded and crawled up his brother till they were face to face once again. Dean gripped the back of Sam’s head pulling him down into a sloppy kiss Dean’s tongue slipping into his mouth hungrily tasting Sam and himself on his brothers’ tongue. Dean slipped his other hand into the back of Sam’s pants kneading his ass and pressing their groins together Sam gasped into the kiss bucking his hips.

Dean pulled back grinning “is it your turn already baby brother” he teased. Sam rolled his eyes and sat up unzipping his jeans pulling his painfully hard cock out and pressing it to Dean’s lips. Dean kissed the tip “So eager” He spoke against the tip before opening his mouth thinking this was going to be quick. It was indeed quick but not as quick as Dean had thought. Sam had gotten good at holding his orgasms back over the years. Dean was proud but with this position it was a bit uncomfortable. He sucked while working his tongue at the tip and shaft as Sam worked himself in and out of Dean’s mouth. The position not allowing Dean much control. Sam came in Dean’s mouth minutes later and Dean drank him down pleased that Sam still tasted just as sweet as he remembered. Course he'd never sucked Sam off before but when it’s on your hands you get curious.

“You gonna tell me what this was all about” Dean asked pressing their foreheads together breaking the kiss. Cupping his little brothers face in his hand.

Sam debated on whether or not to tell Dean. He didn’t want to ruin the mood by bring up Jess again not after he had just refused to talk about it earlier. He looked into deans’ curious green eyes and decided instantly against telling him. He wanted Dean. He always had, but now that he had been with Jess. He felt like he was betraying her memory.

“I’m not unfaithful”

“you will be” the Lady in White had said and here he had proved her right. He had thought it meant unfaithful to Jess but wasn’t he just as unfaithful to Dean. Dean was first after all and technically they had never truly ended or started their relationship. Not that Dean was entirely faithful himself, but perhaps he was thinking too deeply into what the ghost had said. Did he let himself fall back into what he had had with Dean? Or did he pull away and stay true to Jess’ memory? Chase two rabbits and you'll catch neither. He was running out of time to choose which rabbit to chase.

“I wanted to do something special after all this time apart” Sam confessed by way of diversion with a shy smile flicking his gaze to and fro.

“well, I’m glad you did. That was awesome Sammy” Dean patted Sam’s cheek as he chuckled in delight. Sam blushed but couldn’t help but laugh along at Dean’s corny way of putting it. Both rolling onto their backs. Sam closed his eyes the image of Jess bleeding and burning on the ceiling flashing behind his eyelids. He shook the image away.

Dean wondered what had caused the pained look on his brothers once peaceful and happy face. It was such a quick response to closing his eyes. That Dean wanted to get inside his little brothers’ head and fix it. He couldn’t though and he had to assume that it was Jessica’s death that lurked behind his brothers’ eyelids when he closed them.

“It’s okay Sammy” Dean whispered taking ahold of Sam’s hand squeezing it firmly. “I’m here and we’ll fix this.”

Sam smiled weakly opening his eyes wet with unshed tears. “ever the optimistic and patient one” he joked squeezing back.

“You do like to make me wait” Dean teased a cocky grin spreading his lips. Sam chuckled. “Yeah, yeah I do”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The verses used in this chapter are: I feel like I could fly with the boy on the moon, I feel like I could die walking up to the room, oh yeah, I'm so in my head When we're outta touch (outta touch), All I wanna do is get into your head, hanging on by a thread, baby, So honey hold my hand, you like making me wait for it.


	5. I'm Running Out of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to stay as in canon as possible since we're getting closer to solid facts and all. I hope I did well.

Something was wrong. The alarm bells in Dean’s head screamed at him. it was clear Sam was hiding something. what Dean didn’t know but he was sure as hell going to find out.

“Sam what’s gotten into you?” Dean asked pulling his brother aside. They were hunting a werewolf pack five in total and Sam was off his game he'd gotten tripped up twice by what should have been an easy kill a newly turned werewolf was wild and hunger driven, but easy to kill with a calm cool approach. Sam was distracted and that made him an easy target. Dean needed to rectify that and quickly. before his brother got himself killed, or more likely Dean killed.

“Nothing Dean, I’m fine.” Sam said making a move to leave. The annoyance clear in his tone. Dean stopped him with a hand on his arm feeling equally annoyed.

“No, you’re not Sam. get your fucking head in the game man” Dean scolded exasperated. he thought they were past secrets, but obviously he was wrong.

“Dean, let me go” Sam pulled himself free of his older brothers’ grip.

“Shit Sam just tell me” Dean groused.

“Sam! Dean! Hurry your asses up!” John called from a ways away. Sam immediately started walking in their father’s direction effectively ending the conversation. Dean sighed rubbing a hand over his face, shaking his head, and followed them. The rest of the hunt went relatively smoothly after that. Though not without all three Winchesters getting covered in blood and a good amount of dirt.

When they got back to the motel some hours later bloody and exhausted. They dropped their bags on the floor sitting down around the small table by the window. Dean pointed a concerned look at Sam causing Sam to roll his eyes at him. John noticed this little exchange “What’s up boys you got something to say to each other?”

“No” Sam said. “Yes” Dean chided “Spill it”

John sighed rubbing his face “Speak up son”

Sam could feel it. he was running out of time and fast. He wanted out he didn’t want to hunt, and college was his way out. Learn a skill that would give him a normal life, and not make him into the perfect killer. Like his father wanted him to be.

He could be so much more than a Hunter a killer. He just had to get free. He had to tell Dean and their dad that he was leaving. Which was easier said than done which meant he'd almost said it a thousand times and each time failed for fear of hurting Dean more so than how it would affect their dad. they always fought after all never quite agreeing. specifically, when it came to Sam’s plans for the future. John wanted Sam to stay said it was safer that there was no out only hunting. Sam wanted a normal life away from hunting. he didn’t care about his dad’s excuses. he was leaving regardless of what his father said.

Dean on the other hand, he could stop Sam with a single word. Dean was, is his rock. the one who is always there for him. He knew this would hurt Dean just as much as it was hurting him. He just hoped his big brother would let him go.

Sam wanted so much more from his relationship with Dean. Wanted to stay and see where it would go. he knew however that if he didn’t leave now, he'd be stuck forever. and was it worth it? To give up his dream of a normal life. To instead live life as a Hunter just because he had an unhealthy erotically codependent love for his big brother? When he was with Dean, the thought of leaving seemed so wrong. the moment John showed up and the arguments started up again. leaving became freedom became everything he could ever want.

“I’m going to college” he stated bluntly tearing off the band aid in one fell swoop.

“Like hell you are!” John bellowed anger and fear pooling in his eyes.

“I’m eighteen Dad! You can’t control me anymore!” Sam yelled back. Anger boiling up causing him to blindly lash out. “I’m not a soldier Dad! I want a normal life without monsters!”

“It’s not safe out there Sam” John coaxed.

“It’s not safe here either” Sam retorted.

“If you leave you stay gone!” John barked the ultimatum.

“Fine! If that’s how you want it!” Sam stood grabbing his duffle and left slamming the door behind himself.

Dean had sat in stunned silence through it all. Unprepared for what he had made happen by opening his fucking mouth. He moved not even hearing his father call after him. He managed to catch Sam not far from the motel.

“Just gonna leave without saying goodbye little brother!” Dean called out stopping Sam in his tracks.

“I didn’t plan on it.” Sam said barely audible as he turned to face Dean.

“What did you plan on then?” Dean asked closing the distance.

Sam gave a small smile. “a proper goodbye Dean.” He wrapped his arms around his big brother for the last time or at least it felt like the last time. Dean returned the hug squeezing tight.

“all this time and you didn’t tell me?” Dean spoke against Sam’s shoulder.

“I tried. I really did.” Sam moved. his eyes darting around, to make sure they weren’t being watched. He pulled back shifting his hold so that he was now cupping Dean’s face. “I was afraid you’d to make me stay” Sam admitted.

Dean smiled sadly “never” he whispered and closed the distance their lips slotting together. Sam responded instantly. Opening to his big brother his fingers gripping tight to the short dark strands of his hair as Dean slipped his tongue into his little brothers’ mouth. The kiss was long and needy. Both trying to take in as much of the other as possible, and damn Sam wanted to stay, and Dean wanted to make Sam stay. They pulled away staring into one another’s eyes for a moment before stepping back.

They said their goodbyes promising to keep in touch regardless of what their father had said. Then Sam was gone. Dean returned to the now ransacked motel room to finish the worst night if his life with a bang.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Verses used in this chapter are: I really wanna stop but I just got the taste for it, I'm running outta time, going outta my mind, I dunno how to act or if I should be leavin'.


End file.
